I Think We're In Trouble

And with that, the Penguins find themselves facing elimination for the first time this post-season, and they're heading back to Detroit. That's not good.

That being said, I think the Penguins played well enough to win tonight's game. Yeah, Detroit spent a lot of time in the Penguins' zone, but they weren't getting any quality chances. After two periods, the Red Wings had one shot on goal from the slot on in, and I think they only had one in the third period. Granted, that one shot ended up being the game-winning goal, but let's not let facts get in the way.

I thought the Penguins had the better scoring chances over the course of the game while Chris fucking Osgood ended up being the difference.

Aside from Osgood, the biggest difference in this series and between these two teams, to me anyway, is the Red Wings defense, and not so much in a "defensive" sense. The Red Wings hold the blue line better than any team I have ever seen.

Nothing. Gets. Past. Them.

The Penguins blue-liners are the complete opposite. It doesn't matter if it's Gonchar, Whitney, Letang, Orpik, Sydor, Gill...whoever. The puck is finding a way to slip through. That leads to Detroit being able to dominate puck possession, and the Penguins continuing to chase the puck back the other way.

Of course, the BIGGEST difference tonight was the 1:25 2-man advantage the Penguins had in the third period that resulted in zero goals, and barely a shot. As the power play time ticked away, you could feel the game slipping through their finger tips.

But, hey, don't say it's over.

Brooks Orpik Was A Machine

The best 20 seconds of last nights game.




Incredible, jaw dropping performance. I still can't believe it. That's how you finish your check, kids.

That's One

Fucking. Huge.

Sidney Crosby, doing what a captain does.

Niklas Kronwall Can't Hit Somebody Unless He Leaves His Feet

Rule 47 in the NHL Rule book - Charging: Charging shall mean the actions of a player who, as a result of distance traveled, shall violently check an opponent in any manner. A "Charge" may be the result of a check into the boards, into the goal frame or in open ice.

1. A minor or major penalty shall be imposed on a player who skates or jumps into, or charges an opponent in any manner.
2. When a major penalty is imposed under this Rule for a foul resulting in an injury to the face or head of an opponent, a game misconduct shall be imposed, and an automatic fine of one hundred dollars ($100).
3. A minor, major or a major and a game misconduct shall be imposed on a player who charges a goalkeeper while the goalkeeper is within his goal crease.

Mark Madden Fired By ESPN

This might be the best thing that's happened in Pittsburgh sports all week. From The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Total Domination

Wow.

I expected an epic series between two teams that were clearly the best in the league. What we've received is Tony Eason's Patriots against the '85 Bears.

I can't remember the last Stanley Cup finals series that has been this lopsided through two games.

I hope we can score a goal.

Game One From Detroit

That wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I shelled out $190 bucks a ticket and drove five hours on some horrendous Michigan Interstates, but it would be hard to say that the weekend was a disappointment. I mean, it's disappointing the Penguins lost, but the experience was surreal and something I'll never forget.

Detroit itself wasn't all that nice, at least not the areas I saw, and most of it smelled like pee and fish. The Joe Louis Arena experience, however, was top notch. The ushers were great, the fans -- for the most part -- were awesome and accommodating, and the Penguins fans were stellar.

The Red Wings not only let fans go down to the glass to watch warm ups, they encourage it. A large portion of the Penguins fans caught on and assembled along the glass, while Red Wings fans were somewhat amazed so many opposing fans scored tickets. One usher said the team could have zip-code protected the sales on Ticketmaster to prevent Pittsburgh fans from purchasing tickets, but chose not to for fear that the games would not sell out. Crazy. Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl was down there as well, though I think he had seats about 14 rows from the ice. I'm sure there will be an investigation as to how he received those tickets and how he arrived at the game.



Our seats weren't quite that close to the action.



But that doesn't matter. What matters is I was in the building, along with thousands of other Penguins fans, including this guy who was seemingly everywhere in the arena. No matter where we went, he was there. I think they said he was from Canada.



Here is a random picture of the Detroit Red Wings ice team removing dead squid from the ice with a spatula. I think five dead sea creatures hit the ice at various points before, during, and after the game.




If I ever return to Detroit for a game, I'll have to keep in mind the fact an oxygen tank is required to climb the mountain of steps it takes to get to the entrance gates.


What the hell? Who designed that shit? Seriously though, this was the only negative to the arena. As soon as you walk through the gate you are greeted by an usher who welcomes you to the arena and asks if you need assistance finding your section.

There is only one level for the concourse and it is shared by everyone. The people in the most expensive seats use the same concourse and pissers as the people in the last row of the building. They also have full service bars, so you can order a gin and tonic and take it up your seats in the nose bleed section. It's a nice feature.

I stuck with the usual.



There were Penguins fans everywhere.



Yes. That's a guy wearing a Mathew Barnaby jersey.



More Penguins fans. Oh, and that's what it looks like once you've conquered the mountain that is the entrance to The Joe Louis Arena.



Penguins fans, they were everywhere.



For the most part, we were all in the upper sections, and in our end, it seemed to be a pretty even split between Penguins fans and Red Wings fans. The atmosphere was incredible as every fan in the building had on their teams sweater, and each group tried their hardest to out-cheer the other.

Before the gates opened, people were beginning to mingle outside the arena when the Penguins began showing up.

Here is the limo head coach Michel Therrien pulled up in.

And the team bus pulling in.



And the back of Marian Hossa's head as he walked into the arena.



He's in there somewhere.

Shortly after this, several members of the Pittsburgh media came strolling through. Rob Rossi of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review was first. And then came Ron Cook, who for once was actually smiling. Then Joe Starkey came by. And then five minutes later Joe Starkey came back through, looking confused and scared as he screamed out, "I CAN'T FIND MY CREDENTIALS."

Then came Bob Errey. Seriously. Bob. Errey.



I shook his hand and told him he was one of my favorite players growing up. He said, "Thank you very much, I appreciate that."

I didn't have time to get a picture of him, as he seemed to be in quite a hurry. I also just missed a chance to get a picture of NHL commissioner, Gary Bettman, as he was hopping on an elevator in the lobby of GM Place.

That would be this building.



This is the "Bridge To Canada" which I almost ended up going across in a moment of pure confusion trying to navigate the interstate system of downtown Detroit, Michigan.



It would have taken me to this place. Windsor, Ontario. There's a lot of gambling in Windsor.



I thought this was pretty cool.



Ah, yes, Super Bowl XL. How I loved you. When you enter Detroit on Interstate 94 there is a sign that reads, "WECOME TO DETROIT, MICHIGAN, HOME OF SUPER BOWL XL."

I honked in celebration.

As for the game, the Red Wings are good. Really good. Especailly their defense, Niklas Lidstrom in particular. But we already knew that, but not seeing the Red Wings all that often it's sometimes easy to forget just how good he is. He's so smooth on his skates and never allows a puck to get past him. On one power play in the third period he held the blue line no fewer than three different times.

The only time I felt just a tad scared was when the refs took away what would have been the first Red Wings goal because Tomas Holmstrom was "interfering" with Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury. Those people wanted blood at that moment.

It should have been a sign of things to come when Fleury tripped and fell coming onto the ice just before the game started.

This is the first time this playoffs that the Penguins have been down in a series, and the first time they've had to face a little bit of a fight from an opponent. But we knew that coming in. Nobody said it was going to be easy, and it isn't going to be.

Still, even with the loss, it was an incredible experience and one I'll never forget. It was worth every penny, especially for the opportunity to shake hands with Bob Fucking Errey.

Local Hoops Recruiting Recap

The end of the school year and my subsequent boot into the real world has brought me back to the Black and Gold Blog as a contributor. Once college seasons ended across the board, I went into hibernation, effectively living off of my own squishy self while enduring a permanent Final Exam headache.

I am refreshed, cured (albeit still penniless), and ready to dive back into the college world. What better way to resume than with a recap of the recruiting done by the local colleges? Yes, football season starts first, and quite frankly, the Stanley Cup has more interest right now (Pens in six, by the way), but there have been a variety of moves and waves made in the last month or so by all three local teams. Let's go through them.

PITTSBURGH PANTHERS
Last Year -- #18 AP/#18 coaches, 27-10, 10-8 Big East, Big East Conference Tournament Champions, lost in 2nd round of NCAA Tournament
He's Gone -- Keith Benjamin (graduation), Ronald Ramon (graduation), Cassin Diggs (transfer), Darnell Dodson (transfer)
He Might Be Gone -- Mike Cook (eligibility, applied for medical sixth year), Orlando Antigua (asst. coach rumored to go to Memphis)
Holes To Fill -- Inside presence to compliment DeJuan Blair, shooting guard, point guard depth

The Recruits
G Jermaine Dixon (6'3, 185, Tallahassee Community College) - Junior college recruit with 2 years of eligibility. Dixon takes Cassin Diggs' spot, but not without some controversy. Diggs says he was pushed out, although he couldn't even think twice about contributing as much as Dixon may contribute this year. Dixon will likely be slotted right into the shooting guard spot, but could bring the ball up on occasion.

G Ashton Gibbs (6'2, 186, West Orange, NJ) - Early signing from Seton Hall Prep that will probably remind folks of Ronald Ramon. He can play both guard spots and will likely push rising sophomore and friend Brad Wanamaker.

PG Travon Woodall (5'11, 185, Jersey City, NJ) - Early signing that is already friends with Gibbs and Wanamaker. Could conceivably be a redshirt, just for playing time, but he is the best defender among the guards recruited and could see his minutes that way. Could also be the heir apparent to Fields at PG, enabling Gibbs to work behind Dixon.

SF Nasir Robinson (6'5, 210, Chester, PA) - Early signing from Chester powerhouse that is sending Russell Johnson to the area (Robert Morris) as well. As of April, he hadn't officially qualified, but his high school coach said it was a likely event in the next couple months. Could get low end of the stick if Cook does return, as Robinson figures to slot into his roster spot as the backup to Gilbert Brown.

PF Dwight Miller (6'8, 220, Houston, TX) - Early signing and Bahama native caught Jaime Dixon's eye while they were recruiting another couple of players and Miller made the all-star team. Miller will likely work behind Sam Young and Tyrell Biggs, especially if Austin Wallace doesn't develop as much as desired, although Wallace was able to work with Aaron Gray earlier this month.

Likely Lineup/Depth Chart
PG - Levance Fields (SR), Ashton Gibbs (FR), Travon Woodall (FR)
SG - Jermaine Dixon (JR), Brad Wanamaker (SO), Tim Frye (SO)
SF - Mike Cook (R. SR), Gilbert Brown (R. SO), Maurice Polen (SR), Nasir Robinson (FR)
PF - Sam Young (SR), Tyrell Biggs (SR)
C - DeJuan Blair (SO), Gary McGhee (SO), Austin Wallace (R. SO)

Likely Redshirts
If Cook doesn't return, Robinson is in the clear. Otherwise, both he and Woodall are the best bets. Gibbs is a great shooter, so that might get him a few spotty minutes.

Projected Finish
Several people have the Panthers in the Top Five already, and if Cook returns, they may be an early favorite to win it all because of their talent and experience. A Big East title should certainly be in their sights again. The only question is how the depth, eligibility, and roster spots shake out over the summer.

DUQUESNE DUKES
Last Year -- 17-13, 7-9 Atlantic Ten, lost in first round of A-10 tournament
He's Gone -- Shawn James (turned pro), Kojo Mensah (turned pro), Kieron Achara (graduation), Reggie Jackson (graduation), Gary Tucker (graduation), Stuart Baldonado (transfer), Brandon Harris (transfer), Stephen Wood (transfer), Greg Gary (asst coach, now head coach at Centenary), Kim Lewis (asst coach, now assistant Centenary)
Holes To Fill -- Just about everything in the frontcourt, depth, stability.

The Recruits
SF Melquan Bolding (6'4, 200, Fitchburg, MA) - Signed with Louisville last year, didn't qualify, and attended Notre Dame Prep for a year. Bolding takes the scholarship of LOI signee Johnny Higgins, who asked and received his release to sign with New Mexico State.

PF Ali Djim (6'8, 225, Hampton, VA) - Likely headed to a prep school, even though the Dukes need depth. It will help them spread out their current scholarships so they don't get hit as hard as they were this year by graduations and transfers.

PG Eric Evans (5'10, 177, Detroit, MI) - Teammate of Patterson, Evans could make a lot of progress early to be Jackson's back-up. Newton isn't much competition and Robinson has more size and could be more of a shooter.

C Shawntez Patterson (6'7, 180, Detroit, MI) - Evans' bigger teammate brings Detroit toughness. He's another candidate to be redshirted, especially if Peggau is healthy. Patterson is promising but may need time to fully develop.

PF Aleksander Milovic (6'7, 235, Montenegro) - High schooler in Europe will try and fill the hole left by James. He could swing out from underneath Damian Saunders and get starters minutes.

SG BJ Monteiro (6'5, 175, Waterbury, CT) - Hooks up with former high school teammate Damian Saunders and could see a lot of minutes alongside him, as he'll share time with returnee Bill Clark and fellow freshman Bolding. Bolding could even swing to guard and all three could play.

SF Rodrigo Peggau (6'8, 230, Calverton, MD) - committed to James Madison in November, but backed out after a coaching change. Will sign his LOI next year. Could be redshirted because of a knee injury - played just five games last year - but Ron Everhart does expect him to be healthy to start the year.

PG Chase Robinson (6'2, 185, Huntsville, AL) - Shooting ability has Duquesne hoping he can jump right into action. Dukes are missing a lot of scoring from last year, so even though Evans may be the more natural point guard, Robinson is probably the one expected to contribute more early on in his career.

Likely Lineup/Depth Chart
PG - Aaron Jackson (SR), Lucas Newton (SO), Eric Evans (FR), Chase Robinson (FR)
SG - Phillip Fayne (SR), Jason Duty (JR), Jimmy Sherwood (JR)
SF - Bill Clark (SO), Melquan Bolding (FR), BJ Monteiro (FR)
PF - Damian Saunders (SO), Aleksander Milovic (FR)
C - David Theis (SO), Rodrigo Peggau (FR), Shawntez Patterson (FR), Ali Djim (FR)

Likely Redshirts
Ali Djim will attend a prep school, so that frees up one spot. Patterson or Peggau could redshirt, as well, and that will be determined by Peggau's injury status. Duquesne had a lot of walk-ons last year, so scholarships aren't so much an issue as depth and spacing between classes.

Projected Finish
There's talent here, but with so much turnover, Duquesne should be pleased to be a participant in the A-10 tournament. If the group gels faster than expected and some of the freshmen contribute faster, then expectations can rise. But this is a couple year project for Ron Everhart, not a quick fix.

ROBERT MORRIS COLONIALS
Last Year -- #22 Mid-Major Poll, 26-8, 16-2 NEC, won regular season NEC title, lost in semifinal round of NEC Tournament, lost in first round of NIT tournament.
He's Gone -- Tony Lee (graduation), AJ Jackson (graduation), Freddie Harris (graduation), Bas Rozendaal (transfer)
Holes To Fill -- Power forward, scoring depth, inside depth.

The Recruits
Velton Jones (6'0, 170, Philadelphia, PA) - Early signing in November is a possible PG of the future. Gary Wallace is good, but his length may serve him elsewhere, opening up things for the #2 PG in Philly. With how deep Mike Rice likes to go on his bench, expect Jones to see some time.

Jason Burns (6'3, 165, Upper Marlboro, MD) - Early signing in November is a Jeremy Chappell clone but will work on being more of a SG rather than playing SF like Chappell has. He expressed an interest in adding weight, so instead of redshirting like originally planned, RMU agreed to let him out of his LOI to go to a prep school with the understanding that Burns will come to RMU in 2009-2010.

Brandon Greene (6'5, 205, Towson, MD) - Shunned Towson and Loyola for the Colonials and should remind RMU fans a lot of the departed AJ Jackson, albeit with more of a defensive presence than a scoring presence. He will sit out a year to concentrate on academics.

Russell Johnson (6'6, 185, Chester, PA) - Perhaps one of the best recruits in years for the Colonials, Johnson is a very athletic forward that had to share the ball with Rhalir Jefferson (2009) and Nasir Robinson (Pitt). He will push Green and Royal for playing time, especially if he shows a quick grasp of Rice's love of the screen and if he shows he's willing to be a force down low. Rice does expect him to make an immediate impact.

Josiah Whitehead (6'6, 225, North East, MD) - Rice won't be afraid to give this bull a chance to start right away, but right now the wiry Green or the senior Ehirim will in front of this junior college transfer from Cecil College in Maryland. He's in to give the Colonials a post-presence, not so much in height but in terms of tenacity. The Colonials likely would have upset Syracuse in the NIT if they had someone willing to battle for rebounds, as they had the Orange beat in every other facet of the game.

Rob Robinson (6'8, 220, New York, NY) - Call him a more prolific Shawn James. Robinson is a huge shot blocker, but also scores at will, so the junior college transfer from the Globe Institute in New York is a good bet to be in the starting lineup when the Colonials open up against Iona next fall. He will immediately take over the spot vacated by AJ Jackson.

Likely Lineup/Depth Chart
PG - Jimmy Langhurst (JR), Gary Wallace (SO), Velton Jones (FR), Cody Wilson (SO)
SG - Bateko Francisco (SR), Mezie Nwigwe (JR), Jason Burns (FR)
SF - Jeremy Chappell (SR), Khalif Foster (R. FR), Brandon Greene (FR)
PF - Dallas Green (JR), Will Royal (SO), Russell Johnson (FR)
C - Rob Robinson (JR), Josiah Whitehead (JR), Iffy Ehirim (SR)

Likely Redshirts
Jason Burns will head to a prep school for a year. Brandon Greene will sit out to concentrate on academics.

Projected Finish
Rice said just recently that he expects the Colonials to be picked to finish anywhere from 2nd-4th in the NEC by the coaches this year. Might be solid territory, as the team picked to finish 1st hasn't won in a long time. They lost a lot in Lee and Jackson, plus depth in Harris, but it's a solid class plus a conference notorious for being unpredictable. Combine that with some early tests (Xavier, Pitt, Delaware, and others) and the Colonials could win the NEC and join Pitt in the NCAA Tournament, but 20 wins and contention should be the immediate goal.

I'm Going To Detroit For Game One

Oh yes. Oh......yes. I can't get tickets for Penguins games in Pittsburgh, but I can get them for Penguins games in Detroit.

Road trip!

It's a steep price to pay for tickets, but that's fine. How many times will you get a chance to see your team play for a championship in person? It took us 16 years to get back here, it could be another 16 years after this.

Let's do it.

Round Four: It's The Red Wings

Gas up the bus and pack your bags because we're taking a road trip up to the Motor City.

Penguins Vs. Red Wings. It doesn't really get any better than that. This has to be the dream matchup for the NHL as it puts two storied franchises (granted, one of them has quite a bit more history seeing as how the Wings are an original six team, but whatever) with a tremendous amount of star power on the ice to battle for the big drinking cup.

Crosby. Malkin. Hossa. Zetterberg. Datsyuk. Lidstrom.

Fantastic.

Clearly the two best teams in the NHL as they've both rolled through the playoffs, crushing everyone that has had the audacity to attempt to stand in front of them.

Some random stuff that interests absolutely, positively nobody else except for me, and has no real significance to anything even remotely relevant:

- Red Wings forward Mikael Samuelsson spent two months playing for the Penguins after being acquired from the New York Rangers in the Alexie Kovalev "trade." He scored two goals in 22 games with the Penguins. The following off-season, Samuelsson was sent to the Florida Panthers in a package that helped Pittsburgh move up from the third overall pick to the first overall pick, where it would select goalie Marc-Andre Fleury who is currently the starting goalie for the Penguins. Mikael is of no relation to former Penguins defensemen Ulf Samuelsson, whom scored the game-winning goal in the clinching game of the 1991 Stanley Cup Finals. Jim Paek also scored a goal in that game. Jim Paek is the first Korean born player to have his name on the Stanley Cup.

- The Detroit Red Wings have two players whom skated against the Penguins during the 1992 Stanley Cup Finals with the Chicago Blackhawks: Defensemen Chris Chelios and Goalie Dominik Hasek. Both players were on the ice when the clock hit zero. Chelios actually took the final shot of the game. Hasek was put in relief of starting goalie Ed Belfour.

- It's a shame the Stars didn't win as it would have served as a reminder to the greatness that was Brian Bellows. He's the best.

- The Red Wings logo is a wheel with a wing on it. Johan Franzen is nicknamed "mule." Their fans celebrate the playoffs by launching an octopus onto the ice.

- Legendary player Gordie Howe played for the Detroit Red Wings. He was famous for scoring a lot of goals, gifted play making ability, and a tenacious physical game. The Gordie Howe hat trick is a goal, an assist and a fight in the same game. Gordie Howe only ever had one Gordie Howe Hat Trick (December 22, 1955). The all-time leader is Brendan Shanahan. Penguins' center Sidney Crosby registered a Gordie Howe Hat Trick on December 20, 2007 of this season during a game in Boston. He completed it in the third period by fighting former Penguins' defensemen Andrew Ference.

- The last Pittsburgh Sports team to win a championship was the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2005 when they won Super Bowl XL. In Detroit. The Penguins are playing......Detroit. This, like the rest of this post, means absolutely, positively nothing.

That's Four

And with that 6-0 thumping, the Pittsburgh Penguins are moving on to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Let's say that again, just because it sounds so amazing.

The Pittsburgh Penguins are moving on to the Stanley Cup Finals.

I didn't expect that to happen this season, I didn't expect it coming into the season, I didn't expect it in November, and I didn't expect it even at the trade deadline when Ray Shero showed his balls of steel and went for it.

But here we are. And as long as we're here, we may as well just take the whole damn thing, right? Of course.

And now the fans out in Philadelphia can go back to worshiping at the altar of their fictional movie characters. That's awesome.

Oh, and Marian Hossa, pretty fucking good player.

It's also worth pointing out the much anticipated return of the modern day Larry Robinson -- Kimo Timonen -- made about...uh...zero impact today. Seriously, to hear those two douchebags on Versus all series mention Timonen in every sentence, highlighting the importance of his absence in case you had forgotten that he wasn't in the lineup after they told us the first 8,000 times, you'd think this guy was the new Bobby Orr. Nothing today. Well, nothing aside from the fact Marian Hossa trucked him in the first period.

And not one mention of the fact the Penguins have been without their best defensive-defensemen for about three months (That would be Mr. Mark Eaton). Eh, whatever.

I don't know who they're going to play, or what's going to happen in the Finals, but this has been an incredible run. Let's just hope they have four more wins in them.

With A Chance To Move On, Penguins Lay An Egg

What the hell was that?

On second thought, that's all that needs to be said.

Let's get back to what worked, eh?

Ryan Doumit Is Hurt, Water Is Wet

In what seems to be an annual event, Pirates' catcher Ryan Doumit is headed for the disabled list, this time with a fractured thumb. According to Dejan Kovacevic over at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, he's going to miss at least a month, and maybe more. And we all know what that means: MORE RONNY PAULINO!



I know there's nothing you can really do to prevent broken bones, shit happens, it's just frustrating to see Doumit constantly hurt. The injuries always seem to range from the nagging -- like hamstrings -- to the flukes -- like broken bones.

Perhaps next season, in lieu of catching equipment, the Pirates can send him behind the plate covered in bubble wrap which is stuffed with packing peanuts.

It does suck though because the Pirates had a good thing going with Doumit and Paulino splitting time behind the plate. The offensive output was near the top of the league for the position, and with Paulino spending the majority of the time on the bench the defense was improved as well.

That's Three

Getty Images

Marian Hossa. Defense.

That's Two

Welcome back, Max.

Kimmo Timonen is the new Larry Robinson. Have you heard?

Saturday Night At The Ball Game; The Pirates Have Won Five In A Row? Get The Hell Out Of Here

Quietly, very quietly in fact, the Pirates have put together a nice little winning streak. It currently sits at five and they are now just a mere two games under .500. Somewhat amazing when you consider they have the worst team ERA in the league and perhaps, position-by-position, the worst starting infield through a month-and-a-half.

If there's a positive to having a baseball team that's lost for 15 consecutive seasons, it's that you can buy two tickets directly behind home plate, the day of the game, for $16.

Before the game the Army Golden Knights parachute team had seven maniacs launch themselves from a plane.


Insanity.

Tom Gorzelanny was starting for the Pirates on Saturday, and this season that has usually meant a lot of runs for the other team, and an easy loss for the Pirates. It didn't look like Saturday would be any different when, in the top of the first inning, Braves' first baseman Mark Teixerra hit a mammoth 2-run home run well into the left field bleachers. Jason Bay didn't even move. He just sort of turned around and watch it sail into the night. Then, following that, Gorzelanny walked Jeff Francouer -- a difficult task -- and managed to escape the inning with no more damage.

And then things took a turn. Gorzelanny pitched like the guy we saw last year. Getting ground balls, throwing strikes, getting the occasional strikeout. The Braves would never score again.

The Pirates cut the deficit in half in the bottom of the second when, following a lead off double by Jason Bay, and a double steal involving Bay and Adam Laroche, Ronnie Paulino hit a sacrifice fly to center. The run was a nice little achievement for the Pirates, as Chuck James, the Braves' starting pitcher, shut out the Pirates in 14 innings of work last season, including a near-perfect game at PNC Park. Baby steps, boys. Baby steps.

In the bottom of the fourth, Jason Michaels -- hitting third?!? -- led off with a single to right, and was followed by Bay crushing a 2-run homer to right-center field. It's nice to see Bay hitting doubles, opposite field home runs and stealing bases. That's the player we remember. Not that Shawn Green clone we were treated to last season.



Check out the shift the Pirates put on for Braves' catcher Brian McCann. It looks like Freddy Sanchez is playing rover. But, hey...it worked as McCann did ground out to him in shallow right field. Trouble is, the throw was so long for Sanchez that he bounced it to Laroche.


And the Braves outfield, clearly fearing the hitting prowess of pitcher Tom Gorzelanny (4-for-93 in his career).


Ronny Paulino added some insurance runs for the Pirates in the bottom of the sixth with a 2-run, 2-out double to right-center. I have no picture, I wasn't expecting him to do anything.

The Pirates turned four double plays behind Gorzelanny, including one started by Gorz when he snagged a line drive hit right at his face. It was self defense. If he wouldn't have caught his face would probably be stuck to the ball.

Efficient work from the Pirates' bullpen as Frankie Osoria's rubber arm of suck and Matt Capps finished off the final 1 2/3 innings on just 11 pitches.

Victory.


More victory. Enjoy it while we can.


And there was much partying in the streets! No. Not really.

That's One

For the most part it was everything it was expected to be: Physical.

For the first 58 minutes it was extremely physical, and for the most part, fairly clean as there were only four penalties called, and one of them was for delay of game when Ryan Whitney shot the puck into the stands two minutes into the game.

In the final two minutes some hell break loose when Scottie Upshall and Kris Letang started some crap after the whistle, and boatloads of penalties were handed out. Nothing too shocking, however, other than the fact Evgeni Malkin continues his quest to claim the title of best player in the universe.

Malkin had a 3-point night with two goals -- Including a shorthanded goal -- and an assist. He recorded what went down as the game-winner with just four seconds remaining in the first period. He was also credited with five hits and had his glove firmly planted in Derian Hatcher's face during the minor scuffle in the final two minutes.

In other news, Vs. figured out that R.J. Umberger is from Pittsburgh, and felt the need to have Chris Simpson interview his parents over live action of the game during the second period. I think they mentioned that Plum High School is just 14 miles from Mellon Arena at least 140 times. I'm not sure what they'll do when they realize Ryan Malone is also from Pittsburgh.

Frank Pietrangelo's Save Vs. Evgeni Nabokov's Save

Vs.



As a Penguins fan, it's difficult to not give the edge to Pietrangelo, mainly because of its importance to the Pens' run towards their first Stanley Cup.

Even more impressive than Nabokov's save is the fact he didn't rip his groin out of his body in the process.

Random Thoughts While Watching The Pirates And Giants

I know it's still early in the season, and the Giants are playing better than I thought they would, but I still think these two teams are going to be fighting until the end of the season, perhaps even to the final series, for the right to pick first overall in next year's Amateur Draft. Jose Castillo is playing third base, Bengie Molina is hitting cleanup, and I've never even heard of their No. 1 and No. 2 hitters. What a terrible, terrible team. Is this Randy Winn hitting third? Goo.

---

Apparently game two of this series is going to feature Barry Zito -- $126 million paperweight for the Giants -- facing off against Phil Dumatrait -- replacement for the Pirates' $10 million paperweight, Matt Morris. There's only one image that comes to mind.

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Last week Kevin McClatchy was inducted into the Western Pennsylvania Sports Hall Of Fame. Mind if I ask for what? Normally, the phrase "Hall Of Fame" is associated with people who are successful at what they do. No. Scratch that. For people who are legendary at what they do. Mario Lemiuex. Joe Greene. Willie Stargell. Franco Harris. Guys like that.

McClatchy, on the other hand, was the face of the Pirates during the darkest period (which we're still in, by the way) in the franchise's storied history. And he's in a Hall Of Fame? Any Hall Of Fame? We're through the looking glass here, people.

But as a quick side note, going back to the never-ending sea of suck the Pirates are currently swimming in, it's actually far worse than the 15 consecutive losing seasons which is still growing by the season. Really. It is.

Since the Pirates last won the World Series in 1979, they have managed just seven winning seasons in the ensuing 28 years. The fewest amount in the Major Leagues (excluding the 1990's expansion teams). Four of those seven seasons, and the only three playoff teams, came when the Pirates had Barry Bonds. It's really not a 15-year drought, as it is a 28-year drought minus a couple of seasons when Barry Bonds patrolled left field.

Glad to hear that the man who was in charge for, oh, I don't know... at least eight of those years is now in some sort of Hall Of Fame. Cats living with dogs.

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Nate Mclouth just hit his eighth home run of the season. At least somebody is exceeding expectations this year. Well, to be fair, Xavier Nady is as well.

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Plenty of good seats still available. Adam Laroche struck out a couple of innings ago and you could hear every comment the fans made to him as he walked back to the dugout. Even worse, the crowd is so small, and so quiet, that you can hear one of the broadcasters -- I haven't figured out which one -- breathing through his nose into the microphone. And you can hear Lanny flipping through his sheets of paper that contain presidential trivia and Freddy Sanchez' batting average in night games, against left-handed pitchers, in May, in games east of the Mississippi River, with a 7:05 start time.

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Adam Laroche just hit a 2-run home run. He's actually been playing well the past few games. Somebody should tell him the season starts in April, not May. Some guy in the right field stands made a fine catch, barehanded, and Lanny and Steve are discussing whether or not he looks like Astros outfielder Lance Berkman. Now Lanny wants to read his shirt but isn't sure if he should because it might be dirty. It's not. It says "I let my mind wander and it never came back."

Lanny seems disappointed.

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Other than the season opener, and the game I went to a couple of weeks ago, I think this is the most I've watched the Pirates all season. Sadly, this doesn't disappoint me. Baseball is still great, and the Pirates are still boring.

Round Three Matchup: It's The Flyers

Wow. If you thought a first-round matchup between between these two teams would have been intense, you're now dealing with the Conference Finals. This could be complete anarchy on ice. If we're lucky.

That's Four

AP Photo

That's four the hard way.

It wasn't always pretty, it was somewhat maddening (Like when that 2-0 lead was erased three minutes into the third period), but it's all good in the end. Marian Hossa scores a pair, including the game-winner in overtime, and the Penguins take the series four games to one.

I think Ron Cook needs a new column tomorrow.

When the Penguins acquired Hossa from Atlanta at the end of February, critics of the deal questioned what it would do to the Penguins' team chemistry (answer: Nothing) and how Marian Hossa, a perceived playoff underachiever, would perform in the NHL's second season. And that doesn't even get into the questions of whether or not the Penguins can re-sign him. I suppose that's a legitimate concern, but the first two are, and always were, bogus.

Hossa, with his two goals today, now has five goals so far in the playoffs, and has been perhaps the Penguins best all-around forward.

His first goal today came after a brilliant individual play where he kept the puck alive in the offensive zone with a diving effort at the blue line. It looked as if the puck were going to slowly roll out of the zone, forcing the Penguins to regroup, when he sprawled to the ice, maintaining possession, allowing Sidney Crosby and Ryan Malone to make a series of tic-tac-toe passes to set up Hossa for the one-timer.

I think it's worked out just fine.

Pirates Minor Leaguer Attacks Teammate With Bat

I don't know who Olivio Astacio is, but he seems to be taking the front office's "Change In Atmosphere" approach to an entirely new level as he apparently went Jose Offerman on a teammate this week.

From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

WASHINGTON -- The reason the Pirates released pitching prospect Olivo Astacio, two sources confirmed yesterday, was that he attacked another player with a bat earlier in the week during extended spring training in Bradenton, Fla.

Astacio and the other player were having an argument, the sources said, and Astacio struck the player's leg with a swing of his bat. He swung again and missed before the incident was broken up.

Fitting that, as a Pirates prospect, he swung and missed. Too much of that going on down on the farm, swinging and missing that is.

Wayne Gretzky's First Game In Pittsburgh

Here is an absolutely delicious youtube video of Wayne Gretzky's first ever visit to Pittsburgh, and as you can see, it was quite the extravaganza. There are some things to love about this, the first being: Can you imagine the reaction had this happened today, in the era of ESPN and mass media? The horror. The sport of hockey may have been shut down.

- The benches have emptied, an Edmonton coach is attempting to take on fans over the glass (though, to his credit, he had more restraint than Mike Milbury and didn't club the fan with his own shoe) and children are crying. It's total anarchy on the ice.

- At the 19-second mark there is a shot of a Penguins player standing on the bench exchanging punches with an Oilers player on the ice, while just to the right, another Penguins player calmly climbs over the boards, most likely looking for someone to punch. It's like something you would see in Slapshot, or any random East Coast Hockey League game. I love the ECHL, by the way, nothing but fights and goals. Goals and fights.

- There is one quick, brief shot of Wayne Gretzky about 44 seconds in. He looks like he's about 14-years old, and it appears as if he's challenging a fan to a fight. It has to be a fan, because I can't imagine that he would be attempting to throw down with another player. That's what he had Marty McSorley and Dave Semenko for. Usually when Gretzky dropped the gloves he either did so without dropping the gloves, or by getting one-punched by Dave Taylor. So we'll go with challenging a fan.

- I love the shots that show the ice littered with gloves, sticks and helmets, followed by players calmly picking up sticks and tossing them aside in the aftermath.

- What is Edmonton's coach throwing at the 32-second mark, and who exactly is he throwing it at? The ref? How many games does that get you today? 20?

- Let this be a lesson to the people who think there is too much fighting in hockey today.

Penguins Lay An Egg With A Chance To Close The Series

They were going to lose a game eventually, and all things considered, it's best to drop one when you're up three games to none as opposed to say, down three games to none.

Having said that...that was a pretty ugly performance. Undisciplined penalties, some slew foot action from Evgeni Malkin late in the third period (that's the type of bullshit we call other teams and players cowardly and dirty for) and a rather uninspired effort from the team as a whole. Giving a team life when they're down isn't good. So lets not let this thing linger on any longer than it has to, eh?

Of course, that's not to take away from the job Henrik Lundqvist did for the Rangers. He basically assembled a brick wall in his goal crease and stopped everything thrown at him, including a two-minute stretch in the second period where he stopped Ryan Malone on a breakaway, and then Malkin on a penalty shot in a 1-0 game. At that point, you pretty much knew nobody was scoring on him tonight.

Losing the game doesn't bother me as much as the fact the seemingly took their foot off the gas.

Oh well, it's just one...time to move on.