It Sucks Being A Pirates Fan

All sorts of shenanigans over at PNC Park today for the Pirates home opener. Basically, it was a terrible, terrible baseball game that was somehow exciting and hilarious because of the fumbling and stumbling of two supposed Major League Baseball teams (it was essentially a little league game played in front of 38,000 people).

Some stuff...

- The Pirates had two runners thrown out on the bases, walked 11 batters, threw three wild pitches and committed two errors. Most of that happened before the fourth inning started. Tom Gorzelanney looked awful, laboring through 70 pitches in three innings, while rarely topping 90 MPH and walking four batters. He looked like Zach Duke and put the Pirates into a 7-0 hole early (you could hear a "Let's Go Pens!" chant at one point)...

-...But! The Pirates battled back -- thanks to some generosity from the Cubs -- and managed to tie the game at eight, mainly because the Cubs themselves committed three errors, walked a plethora of batters and played like they were using frying pans as gloves. Seriously...this was terrible, terrible baseball and both teams deserved to lose.

- Luis Rivas made another error, failed to stop a slow roller up the middle that led to the Cubs first run (I think he dove over it) and nearly threw away a routine double play in top of the first. With runners on the corners, one out, and Aramis Ramirez at the plate...Ramirez hit a ground ball right at Rivas, who was positioned about ten feet from second base, and then uncorked a throw that bounced to second basemen Freddy Sanchez. Sanchez had to bare hand the ball on a short hop, and then make hurried, off-balance throw (that Doug Mint-Kay-Vitch had to pick at first on the short hop) to complete the double play. It should have been routine. It was ugly.

- The Pirates had a glorious opportunity to win the game in the bottom of the ninth when Ryan Doumit (who has seemingly taken over as the starting catcher, which is a good thing, until he inevitably rips his hamstring through a blender) led off with a leadoff double over center fielder Reed Johnson's head. And this is where shit became weird.

Manager John Russell lifted Doumit for a pinch-runner -- recent call-up Brian Bixler -- who advanced to third on Xavier Nady's ground out. Mint-Kay-Vitch was intentionally walked to set up the double play with Jose Bautista at the plate. Runners at the corners, one out, tie game, bottom of the ninth. Just put the ball in play and chances are the game is over, right?

Wrong.

For reasons that I will forever fail to comprehend, Jose Bautista dropped down a bunt -- a damn bunt -- that was fielded by first basemen Derek Lee who promptly tagged Bautista out, all while Bixler stood on third base with a deer in headlights look on his face. PNC Park was stunned. And when the next hitter, Luis Rivas, weakly flied out to right to end the inning, well, the fans weren't exactly amused as a chorus of boos rained down from the stands. Honestly, the game was over at this point.

- I've liked John Russell so far, but he really screwed the proverbial pooch today by lifting Jason Bay and Ryan Doumit alarmingly early in the game, and for putting his team in a position to where he had to use Rule 5 pick Evan Meek in a tie game, in extra inning. Of course, the Meek thing isn't his fault. Gorzelanney was horrible and needed to be removed when he was, and anytime you need a full game from your bullpen...well, it's not good.

Taking out Bay and Doumit, however, was boneheaded at best.

Needless to say, Meek crumbled, and crumbled badly. As soon as he came into the game a dark cloud formed, thunder rumbled from the heavens, and it began to rain cats and dogs as Meek turned into Rick Vaughn (before the glasses) as he walked five guys, uncorked a pair of wild pitches (tremendous efforts by Ronny Paulino on both pitches) and gave up two runs. He didn't give up a hit, which is fitting for the type of insanity that was on display during the game.

- The good things were Nate Mclouth and Matt Capps. Mclouth continued his early season surge by going 3-for-6 with a walk, while Matt Capps threw two scoreless innings and managed to strikeout Alfonso Soriano, Derek Lee and Aramis Ramirez in the top of the tenth inning.

- Pirates fall to 3-4, and it's not too early to start wondering if we'll ever get back to .500 this season.